I gave up the search for the meaning of life years ago and I must admit I don't have any answers for any of the really tricky questions.

Instead, I've started a different type of search.

Those seekers of the truth who wander around in sackcloth and ashes up high mountains looking for the answers to deep philosophical questions will soon start heading in a different direction to talk to Williams.

I mightn't have many answers but I have some beaut questions, which should be answered. Questions which all of us have asked at one time or another such as "Why do birds dive bomb my car just after I've washed it?"

When I was in my teens I knew all the world's problems and the answers, everything was black and white.

In later years when those blacks and whites turned to shades of grey, I realised I didn't even know the questions any more, let alone the answers, but lately I've been coming up with some really good questions such as 'Why does no-one visit the house when it is tidy?' or 'Why are there such lousy television programs on nights I'm home and good ones when I have to go out?'

I would like to know why wet concrete automatically attracts cats, dogs and children and why lawnmowers conk out on the only day of the week when the grass isn't wet.

Why doesn't someone looking over your shoulder notice the mistake in your work but never the brilliant bit?

Why does the price, of petrol go up when my tank is dry and down when I don't need any? Why are simple instructions so hard to understand?

Why do you always line up in the slow checkout lane and why does someone pile up boxes of groceries in the aisles when you go shopping so you can't get your trolley through?

Why is the part that breaks the most expensive bit?

Why do you need something the week after you've thrown it away? And why does it always happen to me?

- Extract taken from 'Words of Williams' (by Ray Williams, 1993)